hospital blues

I’ve blown my diet on junk food since I’ve been staying with my partner in the hospital. I’ll be afraid to weigh myself when I get home.

Oh well. I am starting to think that I was just meant to be fat. I’ll probably never lose the weight I wish I could lose. It seems futile.

Whatever. I just want to focus on not binging. As long as I can keep away from binging, I’ll be okay.

I’m going to see a friend tomorrow. I need to order more meds and schedule my next therapist appointment tomorrow, too.

That’s a lot for me to do in one day. I may spread it out over two days. See the friend tomorrow, then the next day call.

Blah. The hospital is depressing. I wish my boyfriend didn’t have to be here.

I haven’t had any flashbacks today. I’ve dissociated a little, though. I’ll just space out for a minute or two every few hours. (At least, I think it is only a minute or two.)

I’m feeling depressed and stressed out and like I want to hide from the world. I just don’t handle… stuff… very well.

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2 Responses to hospital blues

  1. I wonder if I dissociate? How can I tell if I am? Mostly I’m a binge drinker. I fell off the wagon this week, big time. Ugh.

    I’m sorry about your bf being in hospital. I send hugs if wanted.

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